My favorite type of poem
Down in the river,
between the hills and pine valleys
tawny needles drifted down.
In spindrift of the current
feigning circles in their descent
only to be deserted on the brooks.
Climbing up on the pebbles
laying a virgin mess
to the solemn banks.
---------------
Attempt two. Trying it without a human to focus more on zen.
I loved both your attempts, I think they read beautifully, very quiet and subtle.
Thank you! Trying to read more poetry to gain the sense in order to post them.
The tent stood brazen in snow
drifts letting in uneven moonlight
and the boy laying on dream-waking berm.
With snow in spindrift with dust
dancing under the bore of moon beam.
Cascading snow billowing to stage.
Our boy's warm breath casting
the kinetic bloom to still water.
Waiting out the breath of daybreak.
------------
This is what I got on the spot for the promt.
Remember doing this one back on Skool. Decided to give it another go, because I loved this style so much. Anyone who reads it, more than welcome to let me know what they think:
The Hesychast:
https://open.substack.com/pub/benceadok/p/the-hesychast?r=4ghqkq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Down in the river,
between the hills and pine valleys
tawny needles drifted down.
In spindrift of the current
feigning circles in their descent
only to be deserted on the brooks.
Climbing up on the pebbles
laying a virgin mess
to the solemn banks.
---------------
Attempt two. Trying it without a human to focus more on zen.
I loved both your attempts, I think they read beautifully, very quiet and subtle.
Thank you! Trying to read more poetry to gain the sense in order to post them.
The tent stood brazen in snow
drifts letting in uneven moonlight
and the boy laying on dream-waking berm.
With snow in spindrift with dust
dancing under the bore of moon beam.
Cascading snow billowing to stage.
Our boy's warm breath casting
the kinetic bloom to still water.
Waiting out the breath of daybreak.
------------
This is what I got on the spot for the promt.
Remember doing this one back on Skool. Decided to give it another go, because I loved this style so much. Anyone who reads it, more than welcome to let me know what they think:
The Hesychast:
https://open.substack.com/pub/benceadok/p/the-hesychast?r=4ghqkq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false